


To Infinity...And Beyond [2]

by ereshai, read by Khashana (Khashana)



Series: Infinity [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fic and podfic together, M/M, Magic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-06-26 02:09:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15653592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ereshai/pseuds/ereshai, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khashana/pseuds/read%20by%20Khashana
Summary: Nursey and Dex got Lardo's dibs, but there's something they need to know before they move in.





	To Infinity...And Beyond [2]

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [To Infinity...And Beyond [1]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9620024) by [ereshai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ereshai/pseuds/ereshai). 



> This is an update of a fic I wrote in 2017. At Khashana's suggestion, I changed a few details to reflect canon and to help it fit the sequel I wrote for the pod-together challenge.

[Download](https://s3.amazonaws.com/khashanapodfic/Infinity+And+Beyond.mp3) (right click the player and select Save Audio As)

“What the hell is this special meeting about?” Dex grumbled. “We already got Lardo’s dibs.” He winced – he’d apologized for his meltdown over the fucking dib flip, but it was still pretty fresh. He wouldn’t blame Nursey if he gave him shit over it.

Nursey shrugged. “Probably gotta go over some Haus rules. The chore wheel, what to do if Bitty runs out of butter. Reaffirm our feud with the LAX bros. Maybe they want to pass along the sacred tub juice recipe.”

“Why a special meeting though?” Dex wondered.

“We’ll find out soon enough, Poindexter. Ch-“

“Don’t say it.”

“You should though.”

Nursey was right, as much as it irritated Dex to admit it. They were literally one minute away from the Haus – he could wait that long. He just didn’t understand all the fuss.

Dex continued to grumble as they walked. Every so often, Nursey’s shoulder would bump his – Dex was sure it was deliberate, because every time it happened, Nursey would cheerfully say ‘Oops!’ Dex started to bump into him the same way, and by the time they reached the Haus, they were shoving each other playfully. They ended up with Dex holding Nursey in a headlock, although that was more to keep Nursey from falling on his face when he tripped.

When they looked, Ransom and Holster were standing on the porch of the Haus, staring down at them with their arms folded across their chests. Dex fought the urge to stand up straight; they were his team captains, not his parents.

“Frogs,” Holster intoned, ignoring Dex’s muttered “We’re not fucking freshmen.” “We’ve called you here on an important matter. Enter.”

Nursey’s shoulders were shaking with laughter as he stumbled up the steps. Dex grabbed the back of his jacket to keep him upright.

“Step into our office,” Ransom said, as solemn as Holster had been. He held out a hand to indicate the living room.

Nursey flung himself down on the green couch, slouching against the arm. Dex sat at the other end.

“Nursey. Dex,” Holster said.

“Derek. Will,” Ransom said with a pointed look at his co-captain.

Neither of them said anything else. Dex was starting to get impatient again. He drummed his fingers on his leg and waited.

“Captains,” Nursey said easily.

Ransom and Holster stood there awkwardly until finally Ransom said, “Okay, you’ve got someone’s dibs and you’re going to be living in the Haus.”

“You have now joined the lucky few, the Hausmates,” Holster said.

“No one says that. Nursey, Dex, there’s something you have to know before you move in.” Ransom grabbed a small book sitting on the television stand. “Okay, I’m just going to read this.” He opened the book and began to page through it.

“Wow, this is just as awkward as when Cohen and Berger gave us this talk.”

“Is this about the Haus ghosts?” Nursey asked and Dex stifled a groan.

“There’s no such thing as ghosts,” Ransom said immediately without looking up from the book in his hand. “Okay, so. Magic.”

“What?” Dex asked flatly. Ghosts? Magic? Was this some sort of dibs hazing ritual?

“Disclaimer,” Ransom began, reading from the book. “Residing in this Haus will potentially cause you to meet your soulmate.” He closed the book. “There.”

“You needed the book for that?” Dex asked. He wasn’t going to acknowledge the nonsense that had just come from Ransom’s mouth.

“Soulmate?” Nursey apparently didn’t share Dex’s resolve. “That’s a thing?”

Holster nodded. “We were just as skeptical as you when we heard. So, now that you have informed consent, you can move in.”

“Wait, informed consent?” Dex burst out. “What kind of bullshit are you trying to pull here?”

“Yo, Dex, chill.” Nursey shifted closer and put a hand on Dex’s forearm.

“Don’t tell me to fucking chill, Nurse,” he growled, but his hands unclenched from the fists he hadn’t realized he was making. “I don’t appreciate people trying to make a fool out of me.”

“Just let me handle this,” Nursey told him and turned to Ransom and Holster. “Tell us about the soulmate thing.”

“We’re glad you asked,” Holster said. He pulled over an easel with a large pad of paper on it from the corner of the room. He flipped the cover open. On the first page they had written ‘ _Magic Shit with Ransom & Holster_’. Ransom pulled an extendable pointer out of his pocket, opened it, and tapped the page.

Holster tore the first page off and let it drop to the floor. On it, there was a child’s drawing of a house, labeled _Haus_ and the number 2010 written in big blocky handwriting.

“The time, 2010. The place, here. The Valentine’s Day kegster.” As Holster spoke, Ransom tapped each picture. They let the information sink in and then Holster went to the next page.

This one had a cluster of circles on one side – heads, probably, because some of them had stick figure bodies. Next to the cluster were two figures, one a generic stick person labeled _Good SMH bro_ , the other drawn with a triangular lower half and long hair to represent a girl. Another stick figure, labeled _douchebro,_ was drawn horizontally underneath them.

“It was the biggest kegster the Haus had ever seen-“ Holster began.

“Until we arrived,” Ransom interrupted.

Holster nodded. “Unfortunately, there were douchebros in attendance. One of them tried to take advantage of a guest who’d had a little too much to drink and our unknown former teammate did what any good member of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team would do.”

“Knocked him the fuck out,” Ransom said and slapped the pointer on the fallen stick person.

Holster went to the next page. “He then called a cab for the young lady.” This page had another cluster of stick figures, apparently carrying the douchebro, with two stick figures off to the side again, this time next to a really badly drawn taxi. “While the rest of the team got rid of the douche and his friends.”

The next page showed a picture of Glinda from _The Wizard of Oz_. “What nobody knew was that the young lady was in fact-.”

Dex snorted and Nursey smacked his arm with the back of his hand.

“A witch,” Ransom said with a hard look at Dex.

“A good witch,” Holster clarified. “And she said,” Holster pitched his voice as high as he could until he sounded like a demented animated chipmunk, “Blessings upon this house and all who dwell in it. May you all find your heart’s truest companions.”

“Well, something like that,” Ransom said. “Bro had been drinking and he didn’t remember exactly what she said. In fact, the whole night was a bit of a blur for him, so some of the details may be off. _But_ …”

“Ever since then, 99% of Haus residents have met their soulmates.”

With that, Ransom and Holster both looked at Nursey and Dex expectantly.

“Okay.” There was a faint note of skepticism in Nursey’s voice, but mostly he sounded like he was humoring their co-captains.

Dex was just done, though. “You expect us to believe any of that? Without any proof?”

“There’s these.” Both Ransom and Holster pulled down the collars of their t-shirts, showing matching infinity symbols just over their hearts.

“Matching tattoos? That’s your proof?”

Holster shook his head and Ransom blew out a frustrated breath. “They’re not-- Look, all we’re supposed to do is let you know this shit once you get dibs. You don’t have to believe us.”

“Thanks for telling us,” Nursey said. “I’d hate to be caught off guard by something like that.” Only Dex seemed to notice his subtle sarcasm.

“Time for pie,” Holster crowed. He stashed the easel and the pad of paper in the corner again while Ransom slapped Nursey and Dex on the shoulder.

“C’mon, Bitty baked a bunch of mini pies for us to celebrate.”

Dex and Nursey hung back as Ransom and Holster went to the kitchen.

“What was that all about?” Dex hissed.

“No idea, but who cares? We sat through the meeting, now we’re getting pie. Score.”

“You don’t believe that soulmate bullshit, do you?” Dex didn’t think so, but Nursey always managed to surprise him when he least expected it.

“Course not. Let’s go, roomie. There’s pie.” Nursey nudged him with his elbow and left the room.

Dex shook his head. He wondered what Ransom and Holster had been trying to pull. Soulmates? Really?


End file.
